Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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