Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
