You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
