i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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