she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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