i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Who died my cat blue again?
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