ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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