this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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