Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
