i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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