guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
