Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
