Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
