Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
