Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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