I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
