No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
