I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
