Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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