Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
