But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
