we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
