Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
