I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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