is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
