You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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