My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
