I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
