I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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