you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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