"it" just moved
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
