so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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