bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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