We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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