This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
