just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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