i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize