That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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