Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Found your dick twin last night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
