its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
