Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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