I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize