ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
