Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
