I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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