someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
