You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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