sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
