Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
