I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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