Where is the hickey?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
now i know why i became what i already was.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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