I wannas sexs uuuuu
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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