Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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