I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
