i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
