I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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