Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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