Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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