I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
