i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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