Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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