I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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