please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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