The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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